Hollywood.

I had a really great lunch today with my group of mommy friends. Elizabeth and I continue to have a rather rough week, and it was such a relief to sit down and bitch with friends who are in the trenches with me, dealing with the same frustrations. It's just hard because as we were discussing, no matter what you do, you feel guilty about it or like you're not doing the right thing. The working moms feel guilty about leaving their children in daycare or with a nanny. I feel guilty that sometimes I want SO BADLY to get a break from the baby and fantasize about my previous life where I had four hours a day of quiet time on the train. The moms who have to supplement with formula feel bad about it. I feel like I did the baby a disservice by not teaching her to use a bottle well enough. The bottom line is, we're all doing the very best we can. And you can read as much as you want, you can listen to as many anecdotal stories from trusted (or sketchy) sources, but in the end, I am learning that I just have to trust that I know best for my little Ellie Bean. Yes, she's a difficult baby. She's willful and impossible and she has now developed an outside voice that makes an hour plus of unadulterated crying make me want to just rip all of my hair out, including eyebrows and nose hair. But through the crying, she will flash me a smile and that makes it all worth it.

Plus I have my amazing mom and husband, who give me the breaks here and there that I need. And I realize that someday soon she will be using a sippy cup and eating solids and she won't need me around all the of the time in order to fill her fat little baby belly. The days can seem unbelievably long when she's fussy, but the time is going so very fast. Her chubby legs are so long now, and that little head that once fit in my hands is now a giant old pumpkin. It won't be long until she's crawling, and then walking, and then running away from me.

Today I dressed her fancy in hopes that like her mama, she would feel better and be nicer when wearing a good outfit and fabulous accessories. It sort of worked! She was napping after lunch so I waked her through the mall, and purchased her some awesome sunglasses.

Here she is, maxing and relaxing, feeling very much like the next big Hollywood starlet.

And then of course, like a Hollywood starlet gone bad, she flashed her drawers. (Yes, I did buy her two pairs of sunglasses. They were two for six bucks!)

Then this afternoon I had a haircut, so Elizabeth was babysat by Grams, Gramps and Auntie Sara. An incredible tag team! When I walked into the house afterwards, I was just waiting to hear the baby wailing out of orneriness. However, I walked into the family room and saw THIS:

Those are some fabulous baby sitters!